Bain de Soleil sunless tanning lotion for dark skin only, and apparently I was getting down, cause it was on my nipples and the inside of my thigh. And he had bunk beds in his room, and Joe Paines on the top bed, Danny Davis is on the lower bed, and Im on a sleeping bag on the floor, and I wet the fucking bed, and Im, like, mortified. I I got nowhere to be. Because this dick wont suck itself. Ron "Tater Salad" White dishes out his signature brand of cynicism, riffing on sex, celebrity and the sinister habits of wild geese. Ron White: If You Quit Listening I'll Shut Up - YouTube Governor Schwarzenegger helped me with that second one, so I didnt have to do that one myself, so thats good. Remove Ads Cast Crew Details Genres Cast Ron White 63 mins More at IMDb TMDb Sign in to log, rate or review Share Ratings 1 fan 3.3 I dont know how strong they were. So we walk up to Knob Cobblers, or whatever the fuck the name of it was. Im like, Youre wasting our money on this stuff? But I got used to it after a while. Nobody in this fucking room would do it. These places are packed to the fucking rafters at 2:30 in the afternoon, seven days a week. So unhappy, theyre willing to bleach it until it becomes a more desirable color. But it sure helps to have a headliner believe in you like Foxworthy believed in White. White, I smell alcohol on your breath. I said, Thats been there since 77, dude. You pour that much Scotch on a tongue, its gonna smell like Scotch forever. Netflix uses cookies for personalization, to customize its online advertisements, and for other purposes. Theres an opening act that makes between 100 and 200 a week for nine shows, the feature act, which is what I was, makes between 400 and 500 bucks a week for nine shows, and a headliner who can make absolutely anything depending on who they are. And these guys are laughing and dancing and drinking, and theyre having a fucking blast. It happened ten years before, but I still had his office number in my phone, and my wife said I was a dick for doing this, but as soon as I found out he died, I called his office, I said, Id like to speak to John Mayhew, please. The lady goes, Im very sorry to tell you, but Mr. Mayhew passed away. I said, Okay, and I called her right back and said, Id like to speak to John Mayhew, please. She goes, I just told you, Mr. Mayhew passed away. I said, I know, I just like hearing you say it. My wifes like, Youre a dick. I said, Bullshit. And I wear wild socks, and So Im having breakfast in this restaurant across the street from the hotel Im staying in, by myself, and I finish with my meal, I realize I dont have any money. He brought one to Vegas last year, and I saw her by the swimming pool in a two-piece bathing suit, and I cant jack the fucking memory out of my goddamn skull. RT25: Celebrating 25 years of Rotten Tomatoes. You cant fix stupid. Get in the car. Ron White: If You Quit Listening, I'll Shut Up - Netflix 7,786, This story has been shared 5,838 times. Great big old, big old, big uns. It says, Please enjoy your feature film, but nothing comes on the television. Nobody wants to be a white asshole, but everybody wants to have one all of a sudden. Thats why. Thanks a lot. Im not, and its not fair to me, because Im older, Im not in that great of shape. Downloads only available on ad-free plans. See how much funner it is to say? And nobody wants our shit anymore. Traditionally in American comedy clubs, theres three acts. Yo, bitch, what the fuck you going to do about it? Lock those beady eyes on you. [Ron White] You ever take a crap so big your pants fit better? I got attacked by a goose when I was a kid. 41,150, This story has been shared 20,592 times. Maybe a salad and a sandwich. It doesnt matter what it fucking looks like. Hes still having too much fun. 1,410, This story has been shared 1,216 times. Ron Tater Salad White dishes out his signature brand of cynicism, riffing on sex, celebrity and the sinister habits of wild geese. You think you know tender but you really dont. Jesus. Sorry. No sabemos si las ancdotas son ciertas o es todo parte de la rutina, pero sea como fuere, la balanza se inclina 3 a 0 a favor, razn por la cual tens que ver este especial ;)Hasta el prximo episodio Gracias por ver! The shit that should have never got said got said, it just spun into this big shit storm of fuck. The one I saw was called, Its Just Lunch, and what they do is they just hook people up, and they have lunch, broad daylight, right in the middle of the day. You're almost there! You got to quit eating them babies, maam. Not because they try to say something funny. And not the fuzzy sweater, lovable slurring kind of drunk uncle, either. We would sit around, drink, and and talk about maybe one day, you know? Stream It Or Skip It: 'White House Plumbers' On HBO, A Comedic Take On The Bumbling Team Behind The Watergate Break-In, Stream It Or Skip It: Kiss, Kiss! on Netflix, a Polish Rom-Com With an Oogy Womanizer Protagonist. Steals my sandwich. Since the Blue Collar Comedy Tour first started in 2000, Texas native Ron White has always stood apart from the other three stand-up comedians as the odd man in. Get some Brylcreem and some dippity-do and a hair dryer. Whiskey and ice cubes. No, no, White proudly proclaims on his fifth stand-up comedy special, and first for Netflix, that at 61, hes a raging alcoholic.. Im a joke writer from America. Ooh! Your Ticket Confirmation # is located under the header in your email that reads "Your Ticket Reservation Details". Dont worry about them. Unless one of them wet the bed. And as a 12-year-old, I make a conscious decision to piss on my friend to make me look better. The motherfucker! This is my new idea. Bienvenidos a un nuevo episodio de Estrenos en Netflix!Hoy vamos a hablar de un especial de comedia de Ron White que se llama \"If you quit listening, i'll shut up\", y que se estren en Netflix el 16 de Octubre de 2018.Muchos chistes machistas y muchas groseras, pero un comediante que es un Sandy y que sale a escena con un vaso de whisky y un puro. *****************************************************************************Donate belowYour contributions help support the channel!https://www.paypal.com/donate/?token=376E-66mSO9HVNOKHNfR6XaKkMJJ11H_3hh8b15mFOUQcpHHDeBUDuuMYQwlvkjM9gARI0\u0026country.x=CA\u0026locale.x=******************************************************************************Needing Assistance to Create/Host your Website, check out blue host below:https://www.bluehost.com/track/phlavaFind the Perfect freelance services for your business eg) logo design and branding, dropshipping, illustrations, clothing design, business cards, t-shirt designhttps://track.fiverr.com/visit/?bta=206481\u0026brand=fiverrcpaFor Fiverr Logo Design:https://track.fiverr.com/visit/?bta=206481\u0026brand=fiverrhybrid\u0026landingPage=https%3A%2F%2Fdiscover.fiverr.com%2Flogo-design-7%2FFor Fiverr Social Media Design:https://track.fiverr.com/visit/?bta=206481\u0026brand=fiverrhybrid\u0026landingPage=https%3A%2F%2Fdiscover.fiverr.com%2Fsocial-media-grid-design-2%2FFor Fiverr Animated intro Video:https://track.fiverr.com/visit/?bta=206481\u0026brand=fiverrhybrid\u0026landingPage=https%3A%2F%2Fdiscover.fiverr.com%2F%3Fs%3DAnimated%2BIntro%2Bvideo Im like, Im through it. And, uh this is a story my mother told me I should do on stage. And I did these shows in London, and they dont play my stuff on television in London. [sobbing] I had nightmares about it my entire goddamn childhood. Theyre gonna know Im a fucking bed-wetter. Literally, people come from all over the world to buy stuff for their shops, and my wife said, My friends having a shower. Just confirm how you got your ticket. Tasted strong. But she was well within my budget. Members can watch as much as they want, anytime, anywhere, on any internet-connected screen. And it really reminded Jeff and I of how much fun we have on stage together and how much we like to play off each other. Ill give you a second to get your arms around that. Get too fat at the Golden Corral, go to the Dress Barn. Thats insensitive right there. 1,911, This story has been shared 1,802 times. 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He likes them big big. The image is an example of a ticket confirmation email that AMC sent you when you purchased your ticket. This befuddled me. Get married, dont get married. And just do a comb-over. I dont need this shit. 'Succession' Season 4 Episode 6 Recap: "Living+", 'Succession': Tom and Shiv's "Bitey" Game is the Horniest, Most Effed Up Thing Theyve Done Yet. And not because if somebody was breaking into our house, they would make a bunch of noise and scare those people away, because you couldnt possibly wake them up. And when I was in Edinburgh, I realized that the Scots made me laugh harder than anybody. It was juvenated, it became un-juvenated, it needs to be rejuvenated. And Danny wakes up and he goes, I had a dream. [squawk] Bites me on the fucking leg. Well, Ive been here, but Ive never been here, and if I only Dead. Ron White: If You Quit Listening, I'll Shut Up streaming I dont have that kind of mirror or that kind of friend. Fuck no, you have not. After Id been there for a little while, I found out there was one part of Hotel Street on Oahu that you go to, and these really cute girls that jump in your car and blow you for five dollars. I said, I ordered a movie, it said, Please enjoy your feature film, but nothing came on the TV. She goes, Ill send somebody over from Maintenance, Im like Knock on the door, its a chick from Maintenance. Its almost like theres a clown there. Jeff? A Tourists Guide to Love Filming Locations: Where Was the Rachael Leigh Cook Movie Filmed? He didnt say that. I got to what? And I know some guys that have had one homosexual experience or two or 10,000, doesnt make a fuck bit of difference to me. I dont care one way or another. And you know why theyre having so much fun? Videos Ron White: If You Quit Listening, I'll Shut Up You ever seen a dead goose anywhere in your goddamn life? Fuck, I dont know. Just his torso, blood coming out of it and just Chris Hemsworth kind of I dont want to pinch his nipples or anything. Young Queen Charlotte's marriage to King George of England sparks an epic love story and transforms high society in this "Bridgerton" universe prequel. Recorded at The Paramount Theater in Denver, CO, stand-up comedienne Kathleen Madigan explores topics including aging parents, interactions with millennials, and hunting bigfoot. After dedicating years of service at a matchmaking company, Arini tries to piece together her mysterious past and memories of a former client. You dont have to kill the baby duck to get the pussy lips off of it. So Im all set up. It was a demo when I bought it, had 350 yards already on it, but I put the other 400 yards on it myself. I saw this on the news the other day. This one takes a bit to get going and funny, but once he starts, he keeps it going hard. Whats the problem? I said, I ordered a movie, it said, Please enjoy your feature film, but nothing came on the TV. She goes, What did you order? Cast Away. You imagine how I think fucking now what Id do to you. Coming Soon. Fuck. Its like you were waiting in line for two hours to ride a roller coaster and it finally shows up and the seats are kinda bumpy and worn out. Theyre watchdogs. But why settle for fictional tall tales when you can sit back and enjoy Whites actual road stories. You cant fix stupid. Heres what I get at three oclock in the morning when I have a six oclock flight: [whispering] Ron. Stay up-to-date on all the latest Rotten Tomatoes news! I have no idea what Id do if I walked out and somebody was there, Id be like [yawning] [click] Oh, hey. From the big lip to the little lip, right over the clit, tuck in the meat curtains if you got em. But they keep hounding me till I say, Yeah, fuck it, lets go. But I didnt want her to go. Its still the number one-selling comedy album of all time, and, uh Jeff had been my friend for ten years, and suddenly, kaboom, hes the biggest comedian in the world. And if youre all politically correct, dont worry. Thats all. Ron White- If You Quit Listening, I'll Shut Up (2018) Watch HD. These are two broke fucking fingers. If you can beat me at darts, you can take me to fucking jail, how about that? Starring: Ron White Watch all you want. What's he doing? Your email address will not be published. My platform was a little different than our presidents platform. A military-trained assassin comes out of hiding to protect the daughter she's never met from ruthless criminals gunning for revenge. Sure, they bleed to death in the trash can when you throw them away, but theyre baby ducks. Ron White: If You Quit Listening, I'll Shut Up - Rotten Tomatoes Ron White: If You Quit Listening, I'll Shut Up 2018 | Maturity Rating: 18+ | 1h 3m | Stand-Up Comedy Ron "Tater Salad" White dishes out his signature brand of cynicism, riffing on sex, celebrity and the sinister habits of wild geese. 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Lets do a big shot of tequila, you snort some cocaine off my dick and fuck me right up the butt. And they march off to the bathroom and do exactly that, exactly then, and the reason they can is theres not a woman there to go, Well, thats morally wrong and bathrooms arent near clean enough to butt-fuck in. Oh, they beg to differ. One eyehole. Ron White: If You Quit Listening, I'll Shut Up 2018 | Maturity Rating: 16+ | 1h 3m | Stand-Up Comedy Ron "Tater Salad" White dishes out his signature brand of cynicism, riffing on sex, celebrity and the sinister habits of wild geese. Nobodys moving till we get across this street. They could have flown over the fucking street. Do Not Sell or Share My Personal Information. Ron White-Radical Terrorist Canadian Geese Reaction: If You Quit When my dog gets out of the yard, gets in the street, hes like, Oh fuck! Nobody would give a shit. I wouldnt do it. But on the way, they must confront what it means to be different. Heres another fair test: darts. Its not like if I told youthe story without saying that, youd have gone, That was very short and happened a long time ago. [whooping] Um The other day, um Jeff Jeff Foxworthy and I were Jeff has a special on Sirius called The Comics Mind, and hed been talking to me about doing it. 2021 Scraps from the Loft. Dont wake White up just yet. , and to receive email from Rotten Tomatoes. Ahh! Ron White: If You Quit Listening, I'll Shut Up - Netflix Ron White: If You Quit Listening, I'll Shut Up Not plump girls, not fat girls. Thats it. Thats all you get. You were right! Bienvenidos a un nuevo episodio de Estrenos en Netflix!Hoy vamos a hablar de un especial de comedia de Ron White que se llama "If you quit listening, i'll sh. 1,802, This story has been shared 1,410 times. Dont drink and drive. Thats all they sell. Videos Ron White: If You Quit Listening, I'll Shut Up Now, when I have seven eighths of a gram of marijuana, I consider myself to be out of marijuana. RON WHITE: IF YOU QUIT LISTENING, I'LL SHUT UP (2018) - FULL TRANSCRIPT October 19, 2018 Ron "Tater Salad" White dishes out his signature brand of cynicism, riffing on sex, celebrity and the sinister habits of wild geese. You know, the fame and fortune and all that? And I said, I dont think so, but I kept thinking about it, and I realized its changed me in two ways. Ron White: If You Quit Listening, I'll Shut Up (2018) Quit trimming it for a year. If you tilt that a little bit, you can get it through that door. Im on the back porch of the church, eating my little sandwich, six years old, drinking my Kool-Aid. I would have missed the boat if I was in the porno business right there. Cause were looking for a gag gift, and if that doesnt gag her, I dont know what were going to use, cause its gotta be something big, you tell me. No, thats our boy Tater Salad, is who that is. Go behind the scenes of Netflix TV shows and movies, see what's coming soon and watch bonus videos on, Ron White: If You Quit Listening, I'll Shut Up (Teaser), Ron White: If You Quit Listening, I'll Shut Up (Trailer). By continuing, you agree to the Privacy Policy and Just laying there dead, cause it died somewhere? He always believed in my talent, but not my work ethic. Somebody asked me to do this story. Downloads only available on ad-free plans. A broom handle, a pool cue, a fucking plunger. Gag, woman, gag. What? Cinemark Numan1235cansunar2234comtr. Ron White: If You Quit Listening, I'll Shut Up 2018 | Maturity Rating: TV-MA | 1h 3m | Comedies Ron "Tater Salad" White dishes out his signature brand of cynicism, riffing on sex, celebrity and the sinister habits of wild geese. A young man's trip to attend a funeral and a wedding on the same day leads to a journey of self-discovery when he's captivated by a chance encounter. I think if it didnt keep my wife awake, I wouldnt know I had it. And I dont know why, cause they used to sell duck tacos, nobody gave a shit. Maybe a half a sandwich and a soup. Ron White: If You Quit Listening, I'll Shut Up. Not the good frozen pizza, the other fucking frozen fucking pizza, and go back to the shitty little motel they rent us, and one night a week, Id let myself rent a porno movie, and Id call this date night. Were just gonna have lunch. Now, I dont know whats wrong with your vagina that makes you think it needs to be rejuvenated. And it was his goal for a lot of years to make me a famous comedian, and he truly sucks at it, cause it took him for fuckin ever. A military-trained assassin comes out of hiding to protect the daughter she's never met from ruthless criminals gunning for revenge. Turns out its a solid one. Weve tried everything that there is. I gotta go. Im coming back twice a day every fucking day. Leaves me shudder-crying. Because the most jacked-up cooch Ive ever seen in my life is way better looking than my ball sack. Somebody was peeing on me! Youre not even trying? Ron Tater Salad White dishes out his signature brand of cynicism, riffing on sex, celebrity and the sinister habits of wild geese. I never got over it. Go behind the scenes of Netflix TV shows and movies, see what's coming soon and watch bonus videos on, Ron White: If You Quit Listening, I'll Shut Up (Teaser), Ron White: If You Quit Listening, I'll Shut Up (Trailer). [distorted] Wagyu beef taste like boot leather. All right. Well, which one is it? Great big, old big uns. His jokes are cynical, full of satire and sarcasm and that's what makes it good. Go see what it is. Wake up those fucking dogs you bought. And the way he found out he didnt wet the bed, is he lived in Round Rock, Texas, and I hadnt really seen him in years, and I was doing this radio station and I told that story, and he called the radio station, You fucking pissed on me? I do. What? I always let him think he wet the fucking bed. Its a dating website and I actually saw another dating website that made me think of mine. Rejuvenate your vagina. And I still eat tacos, but now I only eat the baby duck pussy lip tacos that you get at the Four Seasons in Beverly Hills on Sunday. Thanks for playing along. Baby goose pussy lips makes wagyu beef taste like boot leather. Looks like hes trying to get the taste out of his mouth. If You Quit Listening I'll Shut Up opens with soundbites from White's previous specials, then we see him onstage, in a crisp suit, revealing to his fans how fame and . Ron "Tater Salad" White dishes out his signature brand of cynicism, riffing on sex, celebrity and the sinister habits of wild geese. Ron White: If You Quit Listening I'll Shut Up | Stand-up Special Trailer [HD] | Netflix Netflix 25.4M subscribers 118K views 4 years ago Fully-functioning organs are not necessary. In the wake of her prom scandal, Princess Margrethe longs for normalcy as she struggles to maintain her perfect facade while dealing with family drama. What Time Does 'Yellowjackets' Season 2, Episode 6 Air On Showtime? Now the reason I know this term is, I have lesbian friends too. There were porno movies everywhere, but the porno movie that caught my eye was called Fat Midgets Fucking Fat Midgets Two. Im not doing that either. Watch trailers & learn more. Ill tell you how the conversation ended, and then youll know how it went. I told him, Dont you goddamn do it. I got a good idea, Tommy. the Terms and Policies, and to receive email from Rotten Tomatoes. Thats why. Im going to open a chain of restaurants that only sells baby goose pussy lip tacos. His face is plastered all over Vegas and we are having a fucking blast. And that was the first timeall three of us had our names on big signs in Vegas, and we went outside to look at it, and I was like, Fuck, now what? My pizza is done. Youd think you can tell a mans mouth from a womans mouth, but you cannot. I thought about being gay one time, and I changed my mind when it came my turn. You ever notice nobody ever dies when you wish they would? Privacy Policy .08 is a revenue stream for the federal fucking government, is what .08 is. Over 15 million albums, not including the millions and millions of Blue Collar albums you guys bought. A little while back I was watching this documentary on transvestites, and they start talking about the transvestite scene thats been on Hotel Street on Oahu for 55years. I could piss like a fucking fire hydrant. You look like you just ate a ghost pepper. What the fuck is that supposed to mean? I walk out there and get shot, her and them dogs leave out the back door, hop in the Mercedes, live the life of Riley, while I bleed to death on that fucking rug she had to have. Do not try that at home. We dont even want it. By opting to have your ticket verified for this movie, you are allowing us to check the email address associated with your Rotten Tomatoes account against an email address associated with a Fandango ticket purchase for the same movie. Why? I didnt lose my virginity until I was 18 years old, and I was in the Navy stationed in San Diego, and I lost my virginity to a prostitute in Tijuana, Mexico, who was overweight,and her teeth had no general direction or color. I couldnt fucking breathe. Thats all. Just below that it reads "Ticket Confirmation#:" followed by a 10-digit number. I understand how unnecessary that was. Well, that same year my dear friend Bill Engvall, the dancer People ask me all the time, Do you think youll ever do Dancing With The Stars? Im like, Not unless something goes horribly fucking wrong., Well, that year, Bill was touring with Reba McEntire. CatherineBridget86886758. And just set it and forget it and fucking shut it down. Whats the record? Ron White..Spa Day..If You Quit Listening, I'll Shut up..Reaction!! And word of that spreads throughout the criminal community. Im not trying to be an asshole, and I go, Really? The same week we were at the MGM Grand, they were at Caesars Palace, and that same weekend, Larry The Cable Guy was at the International House of Pancakes in Tucson, Arizona. And he said that the Golden Corrals the best place to find these people cause he says thats where the really big girls like to winter. JOIN NOW Videos Ron White: If You Quit Listening, I'll Shut Up Thats not a sobriety test. You got to unwrap a few to get the one youre looking for in a sight unseen situation. And The Comedy Store in LA is a really pretty big place. If it would have been a handjob, Id have been going, Hey, youre a plumber, dude, get that claw off my fucking pecker.. [mooing] Welcome to our giant all-you-can-eat food trough. You should have the person help you move all the shit out and then shoot him. Ron "Tater Salad" White dishes out his signature brand of cynicism, riffing on sex, celebrity and the sinister habits of wild geese. Its for sale. And we should be afraid of geese too, and Ill tell you why. Thats something we dreamed about and it fucking happened. Besides, if youre at that point in a make-out session, youre gonna do it anyway. Don't be afraid of the gay jokes, they lead to some funny moments and even funnier stories. And it turns out, theyve been snipping the pussy lips off of baby ducks in Saudi Arabia for 1,500 years and just throwing them in a river, and the cook from the Four Seasons went there and saw this amazing waste of baby duck pussy lips, and just started thinking, you know, Fuck Tacos! PETA hates it.
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