Kate Bowler:I need to hear what your motto is. Kelly Corrigan:And how do we earn it? I heard your friend died, and I just couldnt bear to call them back. Kelly Corrigan:She cant wear half her clothes because she cant zip them by herself. Im hearing all the music, Im totally tuned in to the right channel, and then just like that, I slip into those mundane irritants., Kelly Corrigan:And then I catch myself, and then I feel this sense of shame, and he said, Its like this. Just do your best. Mahra:Ive been singing these lines from a song by the Avett Brothers to my kids for years, and it goes like this. Diana, Kelly Corrigan:I mean, unless youre a monk, and youre meditating for 60 days in a mountain somewhere. Like the other day when I was being wheeled into a procedure, the nurse looked at my chart, and then casually said, Colon cancer. 'Think Twice' podcast examines Michael Jackson's legacy : NPR Kelly Corrigan Full Transcript - Kate Bowler My mom called me maybe three months after my dad died. This forgetting, this slide into smallness, this irritability in shame, this disorienting grief Its like this. In other words, it could happen to you tomorrow.. Her teams look to her for direction, but she wanted to see what would happen if she paused more to ask them questions, and found it totally changed her approach to both her work and family life. Kelly Corrigan:Thanks. When I read that, I just kept thinking of how scared Ive been about what I call being a zombie. Thank You for all you do!! Kelly Corrigan:Like, almost every time Im sure that if you just let me take over, I can make this problem go away. Sometimes, were just lacking a bit of language. Kate Bowler:You put in a strong argument, if I may say it like that, for just being close to one another. The things we tell ourselves and each other are so important, arent they? You cant live in that. Kelly Corrigan:Yeah. Even the words left unsaid. Kelly Corrigan:My friend Andy Lotts, who is Lizs husband, told me about it, cause hes a mom now, and so we talk mom talk. I had to make it into a vest to remove it from my body with the tag still on it, you know? Kilpy Minds dont rest. He is also the father to three great characters, including Dixie, who was killed in a head on collision in May of 2021. PRX Series Kelly Corrigan Wonders Suddenly, just showing up was in question. Lives dont last. She's a daughter who still mourns the loss of her dad, a mom to her amazing daughters, a wife to her fantastic husband, a sister, a good friend, and a woman trying her best to leave this world a better and a brighter one for future generations. They hate it. Kate Bowler:Getting back to life has been really tricky. The name is a lyric from . Whos going to do this? Today is the right day to Love, Believe, Do and mostly Live. Kate Bowler:You and I are super chatty people, but you make an amazing pitch for silence, and I am all for it, because everyone always had these go-to things to say with me like, You can do it, or Youre so brave, and all the things that made me feel like I was on the other side of plexiglass. Onward, my dears. Kelly Corrigan Wonders on Apple Podcasts Kareem means generous. What do you do when life doesnt fit into neat categories? Kelly Corrigan:Have you ever heard that potted plant theory? Del Seymour and Kelly Corrigan in Lafayette, CA. Kelly Corrigan:I never came up with any combination that came close to the feeling. Required fields are marked *. I found that instructive. Kate Bowler:I dont think Ill like it, but I will think of you when I do it. Maybe you want to borrow one of Kellys like, Its like this, but youre totally welcome to borrow my familys motto: Dont let the turkeys get you down. Its tried and true. Kate Bowler:Yeah. We were living in Damascus, Syria, and whenever one of us asked for something Mom and Dad couldnt afford, Dad would say Allah Kareem. In Arabic, Allah means God. Kelly Corrigan:Now maybe Im going to go to Durham, and now maybe Im going to get my PhD in Divinity. 5:55. But first, we need you to sign in to PBS using one of the services below. I was also living only maybe 10 miles from my very old grandma who lived alone, and I kept kind of meaning to go visit her, but its a lot easier to show up at work every day at the United Way, and get kind of righteous about all the people who work for money versus the rest of us who are working for the greater good, than it is to go to your grandmas smelly, weird apartment, and have weird conversations with an 88-year old, you know? Id say that there is definitely such a thing as a questioning Christian. Kelly Corrigan Wonders | iHeart You talk about not having good language for your current state. Theres a whole world out there happening, and you can step into all kinds of things, and you dont need to know why youre leaving the house. I heard your friend died, and I just couldnt bear to call them back. Shed do anything. After the potency of the crime metaphor wore off, I turned to the vocabulary of religion. Theres meatless Mondays, and theres a kombucha bar, and theres nap pods. Kelly Corrigan:And it wasnt my turn for his attention. So, its funny that that phrase really begat the whole book in a way, because I had been feeling this shame about not really earning my days here, and then Ed and I were at dinner, and we were talking about the difference between saying Im sorry, and saying I was wrong, and I was saying, God, its so much more powerful though in the humility in saying I was wrong.. You cant only experience deep gratitude at the toenails that you seriously wish someone else would have cut, because seriously, whos doing this around here? Michael Lewis sends his thanks to Dr. Arthur White, a former history teacher at Isidore Newman School in New Orleans, Louisiana, for kicking him in class whenever hed fall asleep. Tomorrow, March 28, 2023 would have been his 40th birthday. How does change actually happen? What do we do when the labels were given arent necessarily the ones we choose for ourselves? So, I grew up with this sentence with my fathers voice in my head saying, Allah Kareem, God is generous., Cheryl:Our family motto is, Dont eat a hamster. Kelly Corrigan:But you know, if Im jumping in with my fancy solution two and a half minutes in, I just cut you off, and then we leave each other, and I have this little high like, Ah, I just really helped her, and she walks away thinking, She didnt hear anything I said. But first, we need you to sign in to PBS using one of the services below. Kelly Corrigan Wonders listeners will be familiar with Alexs story as we shared it in the episode A Mother Son Story of the Ultimate Transition and it was also replayed it in the For the Good of the Order feed. They swell, and constrict, and break, and forgive, and behold, because its like this, having a heart. Kate Bowler:Yeah, yeah, yeah. Gratefully, I was wrong, and that is very soothing, but then that took me back to this moment where I had gone to work for United Way after college, because I was going to save the world, and I was this total do-gooder. Kate Bowler:Yeah, the indignity. So, God is generous was my dads way of promising us a better future. Kelly Corrigan:Where you can feel the person kind of asking around, snooping just enough, and its not for your sake. I mean, I dont know why you went with, Everything Happens for a Reason, because Dont get crumbs on the baby, that could be the follow up. The idea that we just sort of wander around, consume things until we die, like were just a series of small appetites without any deep, rich, meaningful, satisfying connection. (As consciously lesbian from about four-years old, believe it or not, I preferred handsome to pretty.) Today, were sharing this letter which Mary Hope wrote to officially introduce Alex because we find the kindness, transparency and unconditional love in it to be so inspiring. It kind of reminded me though, when I was little, my family used to have these mottos, but the mottos were stuff like, Dont get crumbs on the baby, or Be nice to mom. Kelly Corrigan:Hearts dont idle. Kate Bowler:Wow, and thats a big word. The idea that we just sort of wander around, consume things until we die, like were just a series of small appetites without any deep, rich, meaningful, satisfying connection. You can watch this episode of Tell Me More anytime at pbs.org/kelly.Thank you also to the Lafayette Library and Learning Center. It was the very last thing that I wrote, and you may be able to relate to this, theres always one part of a book that writes itself, at least for me, where its like, I guess Ive been thinking about this long enough, I guess Ive been living this long enough that its all kind of been subconsciously forming, and now Im just about taking dictation here, and thats the way that was. Kelly Corrigan:And I should not lose my mind over a shirt I bought on final sale section that didnt fit even though I tried to pull it over myself, and then it got stuck on me, and I had to cut it off with scissors. Having interviewed Christy on her podcast, A Slight Change of Plans, Maya shares her story of being a female firefighter and her difficult decision to eventually prioritize her mental health over her job. So, I really appreciated the way that you framed the bigness and the smallness of it, because it has to be both. For awhile, Id say shed been robbed, or ripped off. Both Kate and Kelly are remarkable women and in tandem they make for great listening. Its completely random. I think people think that if you have a diagnosis, or somethings happened to you that you should know because youre proof of it. Mary Anne, Mary Anne, Its going to be great. Im so sorry youre not going to like any of my answers. Kelly Corrigan:I didnt die. Im grateful for your wisdom in the messy, the uncertain and the in-between. Michael highlights the importance of . The ambiguity is quite isolating. Kate Bowler:Yeah. Copyright 2023 Apple Inc. All rights reserved. RELATED LINKS Try this episode's happiness practice: 36 Questions for Increasing Closeness Read Kelly Corrigan's new book, Tell Me More Transcript Kilpy Hosted by four-time New York Times bestselling author Kelly Corrigan, the show dives deep into each guest's life to pull out poignant lessons they hope others can use to find their own calling. It was the very last thing that I wrote, and you may be able to relate to this, theres always one part of a book that writes itself, at least for me, where its like, I guess Ive been thinking about this long enough, I guess Ive been living this long enough that its all kind of been subconsciously forming, and now Im just about taking dictation here, and thats the way that was. It just came out whole, and of course, to me its the most important and moving chapter in the book for sure. Kelly Corrigan:Well you know, sometimes the trivial is tragic. Just do your best. Warmly, I didnt make her final days one bit better, and I lived there for two years. Those ordinary consonants and vowels that, when strung together, offer meaning and points of entry for others. Its what I said to my grad school colleague when she asked me if I planned to go into academia after we graduated. Forever? I end up saying to my therapy clients, to my friends, and to my daughter both Change is hard and the stage-specific version of CIH, Middles are awful. Middles are awful: we have to either find language for an ambiguous state or give up on finding it: hard, sweaty work. Thats where its at. I was wrong. Ask the dancers, and the athletes, the painters, and musicians.
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